waiting

If there’s a virtue that characterize an optimally functioning individual, it’s the ability to exercise patience. Having the strength to demonstrate peace and serenity while chaos reigns all around is a quality that fewer people are willing to cultivate. This lost gem is often a common theme among the individuals that I see in my practice. Whether we are dealing with a spouse who expects his or her partner to change life-long habits within a few days, a child who is unable to sit through a homework assignment, a teacher who forgot that some students need more time and support than others for some subjects, or a businessman whose experiencing panic attacks triggered by the unrealistic deadlines required by his boss; impatience is everywhere.

Rather than going through the endless amount of research on the subject of instant gratification, let’s continue with our theme of figuring if the Bible addresses these issues; and if so, how can we apply its psychological anti-venom to this subject.

Living in a culture that believes it’s virtuous to be in constant fast-forward mode, where people pride themselves in being “go-getters,” always “on the go,” and “driven,” it is no wonder that impatience starts to leak through. This faux virtue creates a ripple effect of anxiety, anger, fear, depression, and sucks the joy out of the simple things in life that require us to stop and listen. One of the reasons why mindfulness practices are increasing in popularity is not because there’s anything special about being mindful, it’s just that we have lost the ability to sit through discomfort. We want immediate results. Anything that requires us to wait, endure, or stop, triggers an automatic safety response that distracts us from enjoying the pause. Instant gratification is, and has been, a major player in the psychopathology of our culture. It is a natural byproduct of the “pleasure principle,” which basically means we are designed to satisfy our needs as quickly as possible. However, we are in a constant battle between what we consider a “need” and a “desire.” If you are stuck underwater, it’s ok to immediately find out ways to fulfill your need to breathe (although even in those extreme situations the ability to exercise patience and to think carefully can be a lifesaver). Savvy marketing strategies are continually developing ways to tap into our instincts and convince us that we need the next tablet as much as we needto eat. And once we get the new device, they are finding ways to get us to look at the screen as much as we need to breathe.

Scripture is filled with examples that teach us the importance of patience, and that God’s methods are the exact opposite of what society has accustomed us to. We often come across stories where God is leading His children through an apparently uncertain, often long and arduous path before the benefits can be reaped. In a culture where the unspoken rule is “enjoy now, pay later,” characterizing the 21st century credit-card mentality where the reward often precedes the effort, it does take a lot of self discipline to live contrary to that wave. But no material, immediate reward can surpass the peace of mind that comes when the reward is the finish line instead of the starting point.

The crowning act of God’s work, man, was not made until the final day of creation; the “very good” came after all of the “goods” in the first chapter of Genesis. In Exodus, the promise land was only conquered after forty years of wilderness wondering; before the milk and honey could be enjoyed, they had to deal with the discipline. The work of character building is never easy, but it’s always worth it, as it prepares us for an eternal reward. One of the reasons why it is important to spend time studying scripture daily is because we learn to detect God’s guiding hand when the going gets tough in our lives.

We see this in stories like that of Abraham, who received a promise from God that he and his wife Sarah would have a son, despite the old age–he was 75 at the time. In a patriarchal society where having children was life insurance and a symbol of God’s favor, the promise could not have sounded more sweet. The problem is that God appeared to be playing a mean game with Abraham, as He routinely talked to Abraham as being the father of a “great nation” (Genesis 12:2) while the years rolled on without a positive pregnancy test. After twenty five years of strengthening patience, dependence, and trust, God’s promise came through and Isaac was born.

We see the same principle in the life of Abraham’s great grandson Joseph, in the final ten chapters of the book of Genesis, whose faithfulness only got him in trouble. He was unjustly sold as a slave by his own brothers, and unjustly sold as a traitor by his boss’s wife, thus doing needless time in a filthy prison. God appears surprisingly silent and aloof while His faithful servant suffers for something he didn’t do. Of course, at the end of the story we realize God’s invisible hand shaping Joseph’s path without interfering with anybody’s free will. The path that took him from being a mere slave to being the governor of Egypt, the most powerful kingdom of his time, was filled with pain and patience, but as always, God is never sleeping.

One of the ancient stories that has provided guidance to individuals from all walks of life, and has proven to be one of the most timeless narratives ever told, is the story of Job. Its applicability to our own lives is remarkable. It’s one of those books that we bring up when dealing with the problem of evil, suffering, the existence of God, and the purpose of life. Regardless of our background, humanity shares the same backstory. We are all players in the great controversy stage, and the story of Job provides a glimpse of what is really going on.

Not unlike Joseph, Job was also the target of unexplainable injustice. Despite being an extremely faithful man, God allowed him to experience pain in ways that transcend our vocabulary. Although he was very close to his family, interceding for his children daily, and enjoying the fruits of a loving household as evidenced by his children’s relationship with each other, he lived to see all of them dying a tragic, sudden death; in addition to losing all his wealth, health, and security. If it weren’t for the inside scoop of the conversation between God and Satan, the readers would surely scratch their heads in confusion about God’s goodness. After Satan squeezed Job’s faith until the last drop, Job remained committed to his principles and was able to grab hold of a hand he could not see. Job’s patience has gone down in history as an example of how to sit through extreme pain. He didn’t need to repeat mantras, to practice some type of meditation to transcend his experience, or to distract himself from reality using entertainment or fidget toys, as the majority of current psychotherapeutic interventions would suggest. Job only needed two things, and one of them was patience. He needed a kind of patience that is now an endangered species. It is important to remember that the same patience he learned to master is available to all of us, if only we would accept the opportunities to exercise it instead of binging on avoidance behaviors.
The other thing that Job needed will be discussed in a later article when we go through some of the biblical stories of depression. Suffice it to say, Job teaches us that the ability to withstand emotional, physical, and spiritual pain has more to do with our position as subjects of a cosmic conflict, being God’s representatives on earth, than a personal attack on our wellbeing. That is why we must take advantage of the opportunities to build our characters. It is only through accepting the strain of the moment that we become stronger, as Oswald Chambers puts it in his classic “My Utmost for His Highest,” especially when seeing that God always comes through even if it is at the very end. Actually, the “end” is only an end because God intervenes. The final chapter of Job’s story gives us this assurance, and with it the privilege to claim the promise of a sure rescue.

I suspect you have also noticed your tendency to avoid some healthy discomfort.  Of course there’s nothing wrong with that, as we were designed to get away from pain.  But we also need to keep in mind that our discomfort threshold will never increase if we don’t allow ourselves to struggle a little.  I don’t know where your balance is, all I know is that we are in desperate need of people who can absorb some emotional darts without breaking into pieces.  Maybe the next time you find yourself in the back of a long line, or having to wait those miserable fifteen seconds for a YouTube ad, you can think about the undercover blessings God is trying to hand you.